Showing posts with label Tellulah Darling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tellulah Darling. Show all posts

A Date of Godlike Proportions: Book Blitz

So, I'm back with another fantastic book blitz for Tellulah Darling. I am such a fan of Tellulah's. She is an absolutely funny, funny, funny lady. Make sure to check out the extra author fun with the About the Author section. She honestly makes me laugh!

Book & Author Details
A Date of Godlike Proportions by Tellulah Darling
(The Blooming Goddess Trilogy #2.5)
Publication Date: December 20, 2013
Genres: Comedy, Mythology, Young Adult

Synopsis

There’s bound to be pressure when it takes 2500 years to get to a second date. Which is exactly why Theo Rockman, a.k.a. Prometheus, would rather not go. With his best friend gravely injured and the fate of humanity still on the line, Theo has all sorts of creative excuses to avoid dating swoon-worthy god and love of his life, Hephaestus.

YA romantic comedy gets an epic mythological twist in the free (at select retailers) short story A Date of Godlike Proportions (The Blooming Goddess Trilogy Book 2.5). Being human hasn’t killed Theo, but this date just might.
Excerpt
Great. The cavalry had arrived. I flicked my gaze over to my other best friend Hannah, staring at me incredulously from her position in the doorway, where she had joined Festos.
Festos patted Hannah on the shoulder affectionately before edging past her to leave.
I reluctantly tore my eyes from his retreating figure to meet her bemused gaze.
Allies. That’s what I needed. “There’s too much at stake right nowlike your future for examplefor us to be going out on a
She flapped a hand at me. “Get dressed.”
I looked down at what I was wearing. Which was basically what I always wore. A long-sleeved black T-shirt and baggy black pants. “I’m dressed.”
Hannah rolled her eyes. “Pierce,” she called out.
Her boyfriend trotted into the room at her call. “Yeah, love?”
Hannah pointed to a spot in front of me. “Stand there and look pretty, so this idiot gets the picture.”
Pierce nodded. He got into position and, with a toss of his blond tousled head, adopted the most pouty model boy expression imaginable. He winked at me, obviously amused.
Hannah blinked at him. “Whoa. That’s pretty … pretty.”
“Down, Saul,” I said. “Besides, he’s the God of Love. I’m sure there’s some kind of inherent pretty built into his DNA. With me?” I cast a skeptical look down at myself. “Festos knows what he’s getting.”
Pierce pulled up a desk chair and turned it around to straddle it.
Hannah kicked my legs away so she could sit down on the bed next to Sophie. She picked her friend’s hand up to clasp between her own. Her lip quivered as she stared at her friend but she quickly replaced any concern with a determined glare my way.
She crossed her legs and leaned forward toward me. “Have you seen that boy’s room? It’s like a hurricane went off in there. He’s going nuts trying to find the perfect outfit for this special event and you can’t even get changed?” She tucked a strand of her blond hair behind her ear.
I swung my head in Sophie’s direction. “Did you not notice your bestie lying there unconscious?”
Her hand tightened on Sophie’s. “Don’t be an idiot. Or drag Soph into this. We’re here. Nothing else is going to happen to her. She needs to heal. And don’t pull any of that ‘fate of the universe’ crap either. It’s one night. So, next excuse. I’ll shoot that down too.”
I closed my eyes. There was silence for a blessed moment.
“You feel guilty, don’t you?” She spoke softly.
I shrugged, my eyes still closed.
I felt her make the sign of the cross over me. “I absolve you of guilt, Prometheus.”
I gave a faint smile. “I’m not Catholic.”
“Well, I have no idea how to absolve a Greek God.”
“Titan,” I murmured. “And I’m not even that anymore.”
Purchase A Date of Godlike Proportions
Amazon // iTunes // Kobo (Free download!)

About the Author
Tellulah Darling
noun
1. YA Novelist
2. Alter ego of former screenwriter and instructor
3. Sassy minx

Geeks out over: cool tech.
Squees for: great storytelling.
Delights in: fabulous conversation.
Writes about: where love meets comedy. Awkwardness ensues.

     

10 Things You Didn't Know About Tellulah Darling

1) I am too lazy to learn songs properly, choosing instead to just fit whatever word seems closest to the phonetic sound I hear. This means that nothing I sing makes any logical sense. However, they are all wildly creative. Every once in a while I actually figure out what the words are supposed to be and realize how much sense the song now makes. What's funny is that there are certain songs I'm suck in a perpetual loop with. I learn what they are, promptly forget and go back to my nonsense, and then have that deja vu moment when I understand them again. Maybe I was dropped on my head as a child.

2) I love to travel but hate flying. As a result, I spent much of my life gripping the arms of my airplane seat while whispering "please don't fall" for hours on end. Happily, my doctor informed me a couple years ago (while staring at me like I was an idiot upon hearing how I coped) that since my way didn't work, I might want to try drugs. Miracles of modern science, indeed!

3) Speaking of travel–the first time I went to Italy, I was 15 yrs old. We were in Heathrow waiting for our flight to Rome and I'd fallen asleep stretched out across the chairs at the departure area. I woke up to the sight of the Italian National Football (Soccer) team seated around me. Even at that tender age, I was partial to that particular flavour of man candy. So I shot up and might have tried to shove my little brother under a seat in an attempt to look like a worldly solo traveller. Yeah, right. I wish you all a similar wake up call with *insert group of hot men of your choice*.

4) I was a professional screenwriter for 12 years. Crazy things happen in writers' rooms. On one of my favourite shows to work on, the showrunner and I plotted out the entire season arc's battle using Smurfs. This was for a kids' show. We'd renamed them with our characters' names and did their voices and everything. On another, not a kids' show, there was an actual meeting to discuss the star's wife's Playboy photos. There can be this intimidating mystique around film and television. Don't believe any of it.

5) I forget that my husband is one of my followers on Twitter. This leads to a lot of head shaking when I've been a bit too vigorous discussing hot guys - fictional or otherwise and steamy reads. I try to push the excuse that it's simply ways of interacting with social media friends and readers. I think I’ve gotten away with it but I’m not sure because I am no longer able to make eye contact with him.

6) I hold a Masters' Degree in Film Theory. Yes, you read that right. In watching movies. Okay, and criticizing them. Possibly the most useless degree known to mankind. Not only that, I did my Master's thesis on Gender and Spectatorship in the animation of Chuck Jones. Which means that I watched Bugs Bunny Cartoons for two years. My family despaired. They used to lie and say I was studying journalism. I share this with you so that if your family gives you any grief about your area of study, you can use me as an example of how it could be so much worse. You're welcome.

7) I think that the right shade of lipstick and a great head of hair can be a woman's finest accessory. Who's with me here?

8) I think the world needs more choreography. I have a constant soundtrack in my head and like to tap dance my way through the day. Which in my head comes off like a brilliant Gene Kelly-esque routine. I take no responsibility for how it looks in reality. Obviously, you all just need to see things in my special way.

9) I love my Kindle because it allows me to read my steamy romances to my heart's content without the constant judging I get from haters who obviously are down on love. I've found that if I nod my head sagely whilst reading, people think I'm engrossed in some deep literary classic and perhaps feel bad for not reading such a weighty tome themselves. I feel no guilt for this. I've had too many years of snotty reactions to all the genre reading I've done.

10) Since I write romantic comedies, I'll share a couple of my favs with you. Book: Bet Me by Jennifer Crusie. This is the smexiest book around. (Ha - autocorrect wanted it to be the smelliest book around.) Film: When Harry Met Sally and The Princess Bride. Don't make me choose. It could get ugly.

Thanks so much for having me! And if anyone wants to chat books, romcom or otherwise, let's friendvite on Goodreads or email me on my site www.tellulahdarling.com.
Tellulah Darling's Top 5 Romantic Comedy Films

1) When Harry Met Sally - This movie is the gold standard of romcoms. It's funny, it's insightful, the characters are flawed and deluded and above all it's totally fabulous and all about love. Also, I'm a sucker for "best friends becoming more" films. In fact my first novel, Sam Cruz's Infallible Guide to Getting Girls was written precisely because I love this film so much.

2) The Princess Bride - I've met people who don't like this film with its whimsey and wit and magic and love. They are cold dead people. No judgement. I'm just saying. It also wins for best way to say "I love you."

3) Scott Pilgrim Vs the World - There have been a lot of crappy romcoms in the past decade or so but this isn't one of them. The premise of having to battle Ramona's seven evil exes is so fun and executed with such glee. The love triangle (square?) is wonderful and I love Kieran Culkan. There is no downside to this film. So over the top and yet wonderfully deadpan at the same time.

4) His Girl Friday - If, like me, you like your banter witty and your leads so very deluded in their feelings for each other, then this is your film. The dialogue is gunfire fast and whip smart. I love, loathe, and love again Cary Grant's character, while Rosalind Russell gives as good as she gets. A classic for all the best reasons.

5) Strictly Ballroom - Any film whose HEA is captured in a joyous dance number is okay by me. Plus it's an ugly duckling story and the scene with Doris Day singing "Perhaps Perhaps Perhaps" makes me swoon like nothing else. Another totally over-the-top film but if you can't go big when it comes to love, then go home.

I hope I gave you some new romcom favs today. Let me know which ones you love!


My Date From Hell: Book Blitz (w/ Giveaway)

My Date From Hell (The Blooming Goddess Trilogy #2)
Author: Tellulah Darling
Publication Date: October 31st 2013
Genres: Comedy, Mythology, Young Adult

Synopsis:
Sophie Bloom’s junior year has been a bit of a train wreck. After the world’s greatest kiss re-awakened Sophie’s true identity as Persephone (Goddess of Spring and Savior of Humanity), she fought her dragon-lady guidance counselor to the death, navigated mean girl Bethany’s bitchy troublemaking, and dealt with the betrayal of her backstabbing ex, Kai (sexy Prince of Darkness). You’d think a girl could catch a break.

Yeah, right.

With Zeus stepping things up, it’s vital that Sophie retrieve Persephone’s memories and discover the location of the ritual to stop Zeus and Hades. So when Aphrodite strikes a deal that can unlock Sophie’s pre-mortal past, what choice does the teen goddess have but to accept?

The mission: stop media mogul Hermes from turning Bethany into a global mega-celebrity. The catch? Aphrodite partners Sophie and Kai to work together … and treat this suicide mission as a date. Which could work out for Sophie’s plan to force Kai to admit his feelings for her–if she doesn’t kill him first.

Add to that the fact that BFF Theo’s love life and other BFF Hannah’s actual life are in Sophie’s hands, and suddenly being a teenager—even a godlike one—seems a bit like … well, hell. Whatever happened to dinner and a movie?

The YA romantic comedy/Greek mythology fireworks continue to fly in My Date From Hell. Love meets comedy with a whole lot of sass in book two of this teen fantasy romance series. Breaking up is easy; dating is deadly.
Purchase
**For October 31 and November 1, My Date From Hell will be .99¢ on Amazon!**

Excerpt
The tigers herded me along for about fifteen minutes over soft, spongy ground with the occasional tree root to stumble over. Nothing slithered or skittered over my feet, for which I was profoundly grateful.

We stepped into a clearing in front of a large, clear pond with a waterfall. It was beautiful here. I almost forgot about my keepers until one of them pawed at me gently. I jumped at the slight rasp of its claws on my skirt and glared at it.

“You prefer lunch with a view?” I asked the tigers, pleased with my bravado. They sat down, hemming me in along the shore of the pond.
A woman began to sing. Not in Greek. Not a hymn or a chant or a lullaby.

Nope. She sang of how her loneliness was killing her. Which sounds poetic, but was actually Britney Spears.

Another woman joined her. And another.

It was the best unplugged cover of “Hit Me Baby One More Time” that I’d ever heard.

Three young women swam out from behind the waterfall. They looked like triplets, with dusky olive skin, and long black hair all threaded through with silvery flowers that glinted as they caught the sunlight. Their voices soared as they entreated the object of their song to give them a sign.

My toes were tapping. And yeah, I hummed along. Whatever. It didn't get to be a massive hit without being catchy.

The Diana Ross of the group swam forward and held out her hand.
As if. I wasn't jumping in.
 One of my feline jailers nudged me hard enough to push me in.
Instead of being wet, I found myself floating underwater but in the air. The women continued to sing, starting their song again as they somehow plucked orchids which did usually not grow underwater to weave in my hair.

By the time they had finished adorning me, I was singing, too.

I rose out of the waves. Light caught the spray of droplets, creating a thousand tiny prisms of color. Crooning my heart out with eternal angst, I was consumed with emotion. I had to sing.

This was the most poignant song ever written and I was the keeper of all the anguish.


Kai stepped out into the clearing and I sang to him. Sang this ageless story that was our tale. About misunderstanding. About confession. And this burning need to know.

I walked out of the water and took Kai’s hands. Enfolded him in my arms then returned us to the pond. I sank with him beneath the waves into this place of air, my voice raised in lyrical pleading to show me that sign.

That’s when Kai tickled me.

As I started to laugh and could no longer sing, I realized that I was drowning him—not in air but in cold water—while burbling Britney Spears lyrics off- key, tears falling from my eyes like an overwrought teenybopper.

Jack hadn’t attacked me, psychologically or otherwise. No, he’d put me under the spell of the sirens and then made me their lead singer in an attempt to take Kai out. Thankfully, it hadn’t worked.
I stumbled out of the pond and said casually, “Well, that was awkward.”

Author Bio
Tellulah Darling
noun
1. YA Novelist
2. Alter ego of former screenwriter and instructor
3. Sassy minx

Geeks out over: cool tech.
Squees for: great storytelling.
Delights in: fabulous conversation.
Writes about: where love meets comedy. Awkwardness ensues.

   
Giveaway
(1) ebook copy of My Date From Hell. Open internationally. 13+ to enter. Winner must respond to winning email within 48 hours of my email sent.

My Ex From Hell: Tellulah Darling's Top 5

My Ex From Hell by Tellulah Darling
(The Blooming Goddess Trilogy #1)
Publication date: April 1st 2013
Genre: Young Adult

Synopsis:
Sixteen-year-old Sophie Bloom wishes she’d been taught the following:
a) Bad boy’s presence (TrOuBlE) + teen girl’s brain (DraMa) = TrAuMa (Highly unstable and very volatile.)
b) The Genus Greekulum Godissimus is notable for three traits: 1) awesome abilities, 2) grudges, and 3) hook-ups, break-ups, and in-fighting that puts cable to shame.

Prior to the Halloween dance, Sophie figures her worst problems involve adolescent theatrics, bitchy yoga girls, and being on probation  at her boarding school for mouthy behaviour. Then she meets bad boy Kai and gets the kiss that rocks her world.

Literally.

This breath stealing lip lock reawakens Sophie’s true identity: Persephone, Goddess of Spring. She’s key to saving humanity in the war between the Underworld and Olympus, target numero uno of Hades and Zeus, and totally screwed.

Plus there’s also the little issue that Sophie’s last memory as Persephone was just before someone tried to murder her.

Big picture: master her powers, get her memories back, defeat Persephone’s would be assassin, and save the world. Also, sneak into the Underworld to retrieve stolen property, battle the minions of Hades and Zeus, outwit psycho nymphs, slay a dragon, rescue a classmate, keep from getting her butt expelled from the one place designed to keep her safe …

… and stop kissing Kai, Prince of the Underworld.

My Ex From Hell is a romantic comedy/Greek mythology smackdown. Romeo and Juliet had it easy.
 
   
Author Bio
Tellulah Darling 
noun
1. YA Novelist
2. Alter ego of former screenwriter and instructor
3. Sassy minx

Geeks out over: cool tech.
Squees for: great storytelling.
Delights in: fabulous conversation.
Writes about: where love meets comedy. Awkwardness ensues.

Author Links

What are the top 5 books you wish you had written?
Top 5 Books I wish I had written in no particular order:

1) Ready Player One by Ernest Cline - the sheer breadth of pop culture fabulousness mixed with such incredible heart and originality just kills me. Plus the quest is totally kick ass and really all about friendship.

2) One Day by David Nicholls - The ultimate story of two best friends. This book makes me fall in love and breaks my heart with every reading. Their world and their friendship is so real to me, that I always finish it in a bit of a daze.

3) Bet Me by Jennifer Crusie - IMO, the best romantic comedy novel ever written. There is wit, steam, sexual tension, heart and totally believable character flaws that keep this story moving and me grinning. 

4) The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams - When I was 9, I stumbled upon this book and it changed my life. I'd never read anything like it, and to this day, I'd have to say that Zaphod, Ford, Arthur, Trillian, Marvin and the words "Don't Panic" still have a major presence in my life. The characters are so brilliantly original, the adventure so rollicking, the humour so understated and Adams wraps it all up in a mythology of staggering originality. Bastard.

5) Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell - the best book I've read this year and the sweetest love story that I think I've ever read. And I mean in that in the best, heart meltiness, please let them grow old together way possible. What I especially love is that Park is not your typical alpha male and yet is pure swoony boy. My only issue with the story is that it ended.